It's almost midnight in Chicago and a light snow is falling on the city. I am stranded in Chicago's O'Hare airport, charging my battery and phone by some dusty old outlets while I sit on the dirty, abandoned floor. There Is not a soul in sight. The displays and TVs entertain themselves as I type this, slowly hoping for my batter to charge so I can be productive on my flight tomorrow to LA.
I was delayed from Minneapolis to Chicago, causing me to miss my connecting flight to LAX. Because of that, I'm catching the next available flight at 7:00am tomorrow from Chicago to Los Angeles. But you know, this is exactly what I needed in my life. I could definitely do without the being stranded part, but being stranded here alone has been one way that God has gotten my attention. As of late, my comfortability has been dangerously high, and I have been so unaware of it. Sitting here in Chicago has been a way of breaking me and God teaching me to truly depend on him. I realize that I've been living so unaware of God's working--instead, I've been attempting to help God out. Or I've been complacent expecting God to do all the work for me.
The last time I was legit stranded in an airport was when my brother Josh and I had to sleep overnight in JFK airport in New York in 2008. The other most recent time of being semi-stranded was in Riga, Latvia as our flight to Stockholm got delayed due to snowy weather conditions. I've slept on a lot of airport floors, but never by myself.
Tonight, I'm reminded that I'm not in this alone. It's me and God. And I'm not speaking of being stranded either, I'm speaking of life. It's a constant cycle that I go through of being broken and dependent on God, and then being cynical and self-righteous. Over the past three months or so, I see how, although not entirely so, I've become complacent and have really lacked solid faith in God. I've depended so much on myself and upon religion that It's been hard to see Jesus.
I haven't even landed in CA and I feel like God has taught me so much. It's not things I don't know, just things that I'm quick to forget. This trip, although stretching in a lot of different ways, has been very much needed to remind me that I'm not in control, God is. I would have rather a lot of events in this past week of my life not happened, but I'm seeing that , right now, they are necessary things in order for God to humble me. I've consistently seen God pouring out blessing after blessing, each more incredible than the previous, and still I question whether or not God will continue to be good to me in the future.
Oh, I am a giddy thing.
December 4, 2010
December 3, 2010
Going to LA!
December 3, 2010
I didn’t think I’d be updating this so soon. Right now I’m flying from Minneapolis to Los Angeles via Chicago. Most likely, I will miss my flight tonight connecting me to LA. In this case, I will be spending a night in one Chicago’s finest Terminals.
I’ll be honest, flying and airports bring back a lot of memories. The last time they had to de-ice my plane, I was flying from Stockholm to Vilnius, amid a frigid ice storm. The weather outside was absoslutely sub-arctic, and we were asked to walk to our place. At that point in my life, eleven months ago from tomorrow, I had no idea where I would be going and what adventures were before me and the many incredible things God would do in my life.
Now, as I make my way to California, it’s almost as if I’m coming full circle. It’s like I’m receiving closure on all of my travels and putting the last chapter in a book. I’m visiting my friends that I made in Lithuania, and just like the lesson that I learned one dark, Spring night at Emas’ house in the middle-of-nowhere Lithuania, I’m reminded that friendship has nothing to do with location, it’s about the heart.
I’m torn in my heart. I want to go and visit my friends, but at the same time, there are some things back in St. Paul that I am anxious to attend to. Why is it that sometimes the best things in life are intertwined with the hardest things? Some of the greatest people in my life lie before me and behind me, and I can’t please everyone. I feel divided in my cognition and my mind as I take one risk to show my love for my friends, and at the same time risk the distance between others that at this point need me. Or perhaps I’m just self-deceived and in reality I need them right now.
I guess it doesn’t matter.
Right now “Movie Script Ending” by Death Cab for Cutie is playing in my headphones as I write. I’m not on a highway, but I’m flying away from things and towards others. I want to be in both places, but I can’t be. Sometimes, I feel like my life is simply a highway, and I’m never actually reaching a destination, simply pulling off at various rest stops along the way. Visiting and making friends as I go, but in reality, that’s all I’m doing. Going. Going. Going.
What happened to me? How long have my wheels been turning, running countless RPMs to get me nowhere? I’m sitting alone on a plane, and for the first time in a long time, I’m realizing just how lonely I feel. Not lonely from people. Not lonely from God. Just lonely. And It comes from being afraid. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in six months. I’m afraid that instead of doing something incredible, I’ll simply keep going, going, going. Not going anywhere, just going. And I guess I’m afraid that somewhere along that road I’ll miss out on all the things God has for me because I’m too busy going and I haven’t stopped to just be. What happened to me?
But there is one more thing. It was a night just like this, about eight months ago that Will and I sat in Emas’ living room out the outskirts of Klaipeda. In the middle-of-nowhere Lithuania. As we stepped outside, there were stars everywhere. They lit up the sky! Looking outside my window on the plane, I was able to spot the Big Dipper and Orion. They never seemed so large! Right on the horizon of the sky.
Sitting on that plane, on the way to visit dear friends, looking at the stars—all of these things reminded me of some amazing memories I’ve built in the last year. On that cold, dark April night, Will and I learned that friendship isn’t something you have—it’s something you do. To be a friend means to make sacrifices and not allowing things like distance or petty problems get in the way of what’s important. That night with Will and Emas in the middle of nowhere played through my head on the plane.
Another memory played in my head from earlier this school year as a friend and I sat on the bleachers looking at the stars in early September, my mind was brought back to that night in Lithuania. As I was building a new friendship, so my mind was renewing old ones. Now, looking at the stars that fill the sky as we fly above the horizon, I’m reminded that my friendship and relationships with people do not depend on distance or location, but on intentionality and determination. Regardless of what is behind me or before me, the relationships I build are dependent upon the amount of work that I put into them. They will take some work. They will take some apologizing. I will need to do some changing. But the sacrifices and changes I make and pour into these relationships is worth it. I just need to constantly be reminded that it’s not about me.
So what happened to me? Well, I guess I’m realizing that life is only like a highway if I choose it to be that way. I am the one with my foot on the gas pedal. Being here in Chicago, stranded in the airport is one of God’s ways of giving me a flat-tire. It’s alright to slow down. It’s alright to stop. It’s even alright to get out of the car and to have an adventure. For so long I’ve been sitting around waiting for God to show up and do something instead of getting out of my box and knowing that God never stopped doing things. God’s been waiting to work and move in my life, and I’ve been sitting by passively allowing life to fly on past me. What happened to me? I got comfortable.
I didn’t think I’d be updating this so soon. Right now I’m flying from Minneapolis to Los Angeles via Chicago. Most likely, I will miss my flight tonight connecting me to LA. In this case, I will be spending a night in one Chicago’s finest Terminals.
I’ll be honest, flying and airports bring back a lot of memories. The last time they had to de-ice my plane, I was flying from Stockholm to Vilnius, amid a frigid ice storm. The weather outside was absoslutely sub-arctic, and we were asked to walk to our place. At that point in my life, eleven months ago from tomorrow, I had no idea where I would be going and what adventures were before me and the many incredible things God would do in my life.
Now, as I make my way to California, it’s almost as if I’m coming full circle. It’s like I’m receiving closure on all of my travels and putting the last chapter in a book. I’m visiting my friends that I made in Lithuania, and just like the lesson that I learned one dark, Spring night at Emas’ house in the middle-of-nowhere Lithuania, I’m reminded that friendship has nothing to do with location, it’s about the heart.
I’m torn in my heart. I want to go and visit my friends, but at the same time, there are some things back in St. Paul that I am anxious to attend to. Why is it that sometimes the best things in life are intertwined with the hardest things? Some of the greatest people in my life lie before me and behind me, and I can’t please everyone. I feel divided in my cognition and my mind as I take one risk to show my love for my friends, and at the same time risk the distance between others that at this point need me. Or perhaps I’m just self-deceived and in reality I need them right now.
I guess it doesn’t matter.
Right now “Movie Script Ending” by Death Cab for Cutie is playing in my headphones as I write. I’m not on a highway, but I’m flying away from things and towards others. I want to be in both places, but I can’t be. Sometimes, I feel like my life is simply a highway, and I’m never actually reaching a destination, simply pulling off at various rest stops along the way. Visiting and making friends as I go, but in reality, that’s all I’m doing. Going. Going. Going.
What happened to me? How long have my wheels been turning, running countless RPMs to get me nowhere? I’m sitting alone on a plane, and for the first time in a long time, I’m realizing just how lonely I feel. Not lonely from people. Not lonely from God. Just lonely. And It comes from being afraid. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in six months. I’m afraid that instead of doing something incredible, I’ll simply keep going, going, going. Not going anywhere, just going. And I guess I’m afraid that somewhere along that road I’ll miss out on all the things God has for me because I’m too busy going and I haven’t stopped to just be. What happened to me?
But there is one more thing. It was a night just like this, about eight months ago that Will and I sat in Emas’ living room out the outskirts of Klaipeda. In the middle-of-nowhere Lithuania. As we stepped outside, there were stars everywhere. They lit up the sky! Looking outside my window on the plane, I was able to spot the Big Dipper and Orion. They never seemed so large! Right on the horizon of the sky.
Sitting on that plane, on the way to visit dear friends, looking at the stars—all of these things reminded me of some amazing memories I’ve built in the last year. On that cold, dark April night, Will and I learned that friendship isn’t something you have—it’s something you do. To be a friend means to make sacrifices and not allowing things like distance or petty problems get in the way of what’s important. That night with Will and Emas in the middle of nowhere played through my head on the plane.
Another memory played in my head from earlier this school year as a friend and I sat on the bleachers looking at the stars in early September, my mind was brought back to that night in Lithuania. As I was building a new friendship, so my mind was renewing old ones. Now, looking at the stars that fill the sky as we fly above the horizon, I’m reminded that my friendship and relationships with people do not depend on distance or location, but on intentionality and determination. Regardless of what is behind me or before me, the relationships I build are dependent upon the amount of work that I put into them. They will take some work. They will take some apologizing. I will need to do some changing. But the sacrifices and changes I make and pour into these relationships is worth it. I just need to constantly be reminded that it’s not about me.
So what happened to me? Well, I guess I’m realizing that life is only like a highway if I choose it to be that way. I am the one with my foot on the gas pedal. Being here in Chicago, stranded in the airport is one of God’s ways of giving me a flat-tire. It’s alright to slow down. It’s alright to stop. It’s even alright to get out of the car and to have an adventure. For so long I’ve been sitting around waiting for God to show up and do something instead of getting out of my box and knowing that God never stopped doing things. God’s been waiting to work and move in my life, and I’ve been sitting by passively allowing life to fly on past me. What happened to me? I got comfortable.
July 21, 2010
Italia!
We got back from Sassnitz about 14.00 on Monday, we finished cleaning the bus by half past three and then we packed up all of our stuff and headed for vacation! Johannes was able to obtain a vehicle through his father, so he picked it up, we drove to his house for dinner and to pick up pots, pans, and such. We then went shopping for food and odds and ends. Following that we drove back to Mühltal to pick up Simon. I had a huge stack of mail waiting there, which was awesome! I read most of it and what I didn't have time to read I brought with me. We then left Mühltal at midnight for our "Abenteuer Urlaub" (Adventure Vacation). We drove through the night straight through southern Germany, through Austria, and into Northern Italy. We got to drive straight through the Alps, which was awesome! We got to see crazy high mountains, some even with snow on them still. We landed in Lago de Ledro about 9.00. The water was crystal clear! We went straight to the beach, went swimming and just hung out on the beach. After lunchtime we packed up and drove into the mountains to find a place to camp. We found this barnyard area, with two houses in the nearby vicinity. We walked through the mountains for a while, but came back, chose our spot, and went back to the beach to swim. Later that evening we came back up the mountain and we went up the hill where we grilled. We were in sight from one of the houses' driveway so we were being careful not to be seen; we grilled/cooked leftovers from Johannes' house, and then we slept there. It was amazing! Stars (not crazy many, but enough), mountains, and fresh air. We slept right in the open under the sky, it was really awesome. We got up packed it all up and headed back to the beach.
Day two was pretty similar in the morning--beach and swimming, we played a lot of cards--later on we went into the town by the other, bigger sea (Lake Garda). The town and beach were really beautifully, completely surrounded by mountains. We came back later on to our beach, played cards late into the night, hanging out. About midnight or one in the morning we looked for a place to sleep and ended up sleeping in a little meadow or plain in the middle of the town. When we woke were completely in full sight of the whole town, so we got up (it was half past six in the morning) and went to the beach and just hung out on the beach. Later in the afternoon we drove back to the bigger Sea and walked around, visiting a few towns. That night we left again for Southern Germany where we spent the night on Chiemsee. We tried to sleep outside underneath a tree, but the insects were horrible so after about a half hour Simeon and I went into the car to sleep. Simon was already there, but we left Johannes and Christian out there because they were sleeping. They got up in the middle of the night and they were alone and we were in the car, locked in with both keys. They ended up sleeping right outside the car because the bugs were so intense. We then drove the next hour into Salzburg, Austria. It was a really pretty city and we got to see a lot of the city. It was quite nice actually. I really liked Austria--it was more friendly than Germany, in my opinion, and it was more "homely" than in Germany. The people seemed to not be as stuffy, which was kind of cool.
We were there until late afternoon and then we drove the six hours home. We arrived late, unpacked everything and went to bed.
The next day we had a wedding that we were invited to/at which we were going to be waiters. I liked the ceremony a lot and it was a bit of culture for me. The Reception was rather typical and wasn't a crazy amount of work, but it was fun to participate in. We got back rather late and went to bed. Sunday was a chill day, and then Monday Christian and I worked in the garden and absolutely destroyed and deplanted a hill. We took all the plants and things out of it--it was a beast of a project (we started it before we left, over a month ago) but we managed to complete it. This morning, I packed everything up, and that brings me to the present--still on a train to Basel. I'm about an hour and a half from Switzerland, and there are some mountains outside, but they're little guys. I'll write more about Basel when it's finished, but for now, this is the update on what's been going on in my life, event-ally speaking. I'm still in the process of processing a lot of what has happened, including things from Lithuania, so I'm thankful for the next few days and some downtime to chill, write, and maybe even make some skype calls (if I have internet in Kandern). So geht's!
Day two was pretty similar in the morning--beach and swimming, we played a lot of cards--later on we went into the town by the other, bigger sea (Lake Garda). The town and beach were really beautifully, completely surrounded by mountains. We came back later on to our beach, played cards late into the night, hanging out. About midnight or one in the morning we looked for a place to sleep and ended up sleeping in a little meadow or plain in the middle of the town. When we woke were completely in full sight of the whole town, so we got up (it was half past six in the morning) and went to the beach and just hung out on the beach. Later in the afternoon we drove back to the bigger Sea and walked around, visiting a few towns. That night we left again for Southern Germany where we spent the night on Chiemsee. We tried to sleep outside underneath a tree, but the insects were horrible so after about a half hour Simeon and I went into the car to sleep. Simon was already there, but we left Johannes and Christian out there because they were sleeping. They got up in the middle of the night and they were alone and we were in the car, locked in with both keys. They ended up sleeping right outside the car because the bugs were so intense. We then drove the next hour into Salzburg, Austria. It was a really pretty city and we got to see a lot of the city. It was quite nice actually. I really liked Austria--it was more friendly than Germany, in my opinion, and it was more "homely" than in Germany. The people seemed to not be as stuffy, which was kind of cool.
We were there until late afternoon and then we drove the six hours home. We arrived late, unpacked everything and went to bed.
The next day we had a wedding that we were invited to/at which we were going to be waiters. I liked the ceremony a lot and it was a bit of culture for me. The Reception was rather typical and wasn't a crazy amount of work, but it was fun to participate in. We got back rather late and went to bed. Sunday was a chill day, and then Monday Christian and I worked in the garden and absolutely destroyed and deplanted a hill. We took all the plants and things out of it--it was a beast of a project (we started it before we left, over a month ago) but we managed to complete it. This morning, I packed everything up, and that brings me to the present--still on a train to Basel. I'm about an hour and a half from Switzerland, and there are some mountains outside, but they're little guys. I'll write more about Basel when it's finished, but for now, this is the update on what's been going on in my life, event-ally speaking. I'm still in the process of processing a lot of what has happened, including things from Lithuania, so I'm thankful for the next few days and some downtime to chill, write, and maybe even make some skype calls (if I have internet in Kandern). So geht's!
Sassnitz Snippets
I switched trains in Mainz and now I'm heading direct to Basel. I met three Americans on the same train as I, and they were from the Midwest--the girl was studying at the U of M--it's really a small world. I have about three hours ahead of me, so I have plenty of time to write and give updates on everything, so I'll try to catch up on my writing while I'm here.
The first major even in the last month that I need to update on is Sassnitz. Sassnitz is on the German Isle of Rügen, almost as far northeast as you can go. It's on the Coast of the Eastern Sea. We were working in the Sassnitz Regionale Schule (Classes 5-10). We were there two years ago, so we were coming back again, through a miracle and the grace of God. The island is still very much influenced and impacted by DDR (East Germany) times and you can see it in the buildings and the education system. The school teachers themselves (a few, not all) have a communist bent, and there is still a strong influence of a social government on the island. We spent ten days in Stahlhofen to prepare for Sassnitz. We were to do workshops and school hours. I had a workshop called "Wörte, die die Welt verändert haben" (Words that have changed the World). My workshop was to make a video of important speeches and people and stuff like that.
In Stahlhofen we all spent time preparing our workshops, skits, theatre pieces, or whatnot. After Ten days, we took the 10 hour drive up to Sassnitz by the horns and made our arrival. We arrived on a Wednesday afternoon (June 30th). On Thursday and Friday we did five School Hours per day. What that means is that we did a program for different classes (Class 8a, Class 8c, Class 6b, etc.) We did the same program for each class and it was on Dignity. Because we can't directly use the Bible as our source or teaching book, we used the German Grundgesetz (Constitution). The first line of the German constitution states: The Dignity of Mankind cannot be violated.
We used this as a building block to tell them about what we believed. We had film clips, small groups, a pantomime and then a lecture at the end. It went pretty well both days, and we were even able to sneak in a bit of what we personally believe.
On Saturday we were with the church, watched the Germany match against Argentina and practiced things for the next week. On Sunday we went to a community day on the mainland. On Monday was the first day of our Workshops. I had 16 guys and a teacher. It was a bit hectic but we powered through and got our first days work done. We were finished by noon--and after that we went to our Parking Lot Space and set up tea and coffee, but we had a really bad location and no one came to us. In the evening, with some free time that we had, we went to the pier that is in Sassnitz. It's about 15 feet hight (about 4.5 meters really) and we would jump off the pier into the water. That was really neat--an adrenaline rush.
Tuesday we finished our workshop material (thankfully) and I compiled the video together afterwards and then we went back to our Parking Lot Space for Tea and Coffee, but again no one came, but we had a kids programme for the kids in the church, and a few came for that, so that was cool. Later, we went back to the pier because that’s where all the kids are, so we met some kids there, jumped in the water and talked to the kids.
On Wednesday, we had a presentation for all our workshops and it was bombsauce awesome. The Pantomime told the story of Zacchaeus and forgiveness and the theater piece was of the woman at the well, with the teacher playing Jesus! It was freaking sweet. We pushed the buttons at the very end and prayed before dismissing the group, which was really cool. We built a lot of good relationships with the teachers and students, so I'm really thankfully that everything worked out. Later that day we had another kids programme, which went well.
Starting on Thursday we were down in the Harbor for "Hafenfest" (Harbour Festival). The first thing we got to do was to go on a boat excursion with a boat called the "Elida" and it's basically our ministry expect on Water--the crew was in Riga and Estonia the week before and was travelling around--it was really cool and we got to see a lot of stuff, and three students came and three teachers, which was amazing! Later that afternoon we set the bus up and got everything prepared and that night we talked with people but many people weren't interested in stopping or talking.
Friday and Saturday were similar days, down in the Harbour by the bus talking to people--it was extremely hot and most people weren't very interested in talking to us, so we didn't have as many conversations as we had hoped. Sunday we prepared a church service in the harbour along with the people from the "Elida." We had music, skits, pantomiming, interviews, sermons, and testimonies--it was pretty cool. Later that afternoon we were by the bus, but we packed it up around six because no one was there. We headed home, headed to bed, and then left early morning for home. So was Sassnitz.
The first major even in the last month that I need to update on is Sassnitz. Sassnitz is on the German Isle of Rügen, almost as far northeast as you can go. It's on the Coast of the Eastern Sea. We were working in the Sassnitz Regionale Schule (Classes 5-10). We were there two years ago, so we were coming back again, through a miracle and the grace of God. The island is still very much influenced and impacted by DDR (East Germany) times and you can see it in the buildings and the education system. The school teachers themselves (a few, not all) have a communist bent, and there is still a strong influence of a social government on the island. We spent ten days in Stahlhofen to prepare for Sassnitz. We were to do workshops and school hours. I had a workshop called "Wörte, die die Welt verändert haben" (Words that have changed the World). My workshop was to make a video of important speeches and people and stuff like that.
In Stahlhofen we all spent time preparing our workshops, skits, theatre pieces, or whatnot. After Ten days, we took the 10 hour drive up to Sassnitz by the horns and made our arrival. We arrived on a Wednesday afternoon (June 30th). On Thursday and Friday we did five School Hours per day. What that means is that we did a program for different classes (Class 8a, Class 8c, Class 6b, etc.) We did the same program for each class and it was on Dignity. Because we can't directly use the Bible as our source or teaching book, we used the German Grundgesetz (Constitution). The first line of the German constitution states: The Dignity of Mankind cannot be violated.
We used this as a building block to tell them about what we believed. We had film clips, small groups, a pantomime and then a lecture at the end. It went pretty well both days, and we were even able to sneak in a bit of what we personally believe.
On Saturday we were with the church, watched the Germany match against Argentina and practiced things for the next week. On Sunday we went to a community day on the mainland. On Monday was the first day of our Workshops. I had 16 guys and a teacher. It was a bit hectic but we powered through and got our first days work done. We were finished by noon--and after that we went to our Parking Lot Space and set up tea and coffee, but we had a really bad location and no one came to us. In the evening, with some free time that we had, we went to the pier that is in Sassnitz. It's about 15 feet hight (about 4.5 meters really) and we would jump off the pier into the water. That was really neat--an adrenaline rush.
Tuesday we finished our workshop material (thankfully) and I compiled the video together afterwards and then we went back to our Parking Lot Space for Tea and Coffee, but again no one came, but we had a kids programme for the kids in the church, and a few came for that, so that was cool. Later, we went back to the pier because that’s where all the kids are, so we met some kids there, jumped in the water and talked to the kids.
On Wednesday, we had a presentation for all our workshops and it was bombsauce awesome. The Pantomime told the story of Zacchaeus and forgiveness and the theater piece was of the woman at the well, with the teacher playing Jesus! It was freaking sweet. We pushed the buttons at the very end and prayed before dismissing the group, which was really cool. We built a lot of good relationships with the teachers and students, so I'm really thankfully that everything worked out. Later that day we had another kids programme, which went well.
Starting on Thursday we were down in the Harbor for "Hafenfest" (Harbour Festival). The first thing we got to do was to go on a boat excursion with a boat called the "Elida" and it's basically our ministry expect on Water--the crew was in Riga and Estonia the week before and was travelling around--it was really cool and we got to see a lot of stuff, and three students came and three teachers, which was amazing! Later that afternoon we set the bus up and got everything prepared and that night we talked with people but many people weren't interested in stopping or talking.
Friday and Saturday were similar days, down in the Harbour by the bus talking to people--it was extremely hot and most people weren't very interested in talking to us, so we didn't have as many conversations as we had hoped. Sunday we prepared a church service in the harbour along with the people from the "Elida." We had music, skits, pantomiming, interviews, sermons, and testimonies--it was pretty cool. Later that afternoon we were by the bus, but we packed it up around six because no one was there. We headed home, headed to bed, and then left early morning for home. So was Sassnitz.
Unterwegs
I'm about 6 days away from having been in Europe for the last 200 days. It's crazy how much time I've spent here. I did the math and currently, I've spent about 5% of my life in Europe, which is pretty nuts to me. I've seen a lot of things and been a lot of places and I feel as if in the last 200 days my life has been changed more drastically than in the 19 years previous them. Of course, those 19 years were a foundation for me, but my time here has really formulated my thinking and really challenged me in ways that I didn't really know I needed to be challenged in.
Right now I'm sitting on a train going to Basel, Switzerland for three days to do a debrief and seminar with a missionary family in Southern Germany. A few things that are good to know about my time here, culturally speaking, is that I finally feel relatively comfortable in the language. I'm far from being fluent, but I'm able to hold my own in understanding and get by in speaking. I'm travelling along and I feel about as confident as I would if I were to be travelling 600 kilometers by train in the States.
This update is simply to let you all know that I realize that I haven't written a ton recently, but the reason isn't because I haven't wanted to, but simply due to a lack of time. I'm "home" again (or at least, I was), so I'll try to upload these when I get the chance. I was gone from June 12th until July 16th! Craziness! During that time we were in Siegen, Sassnitz, Stahlhofen, and we took a trip to Italy! More information about Sassnitz and Italy is coming up!
Right now I'm sitting on a train going to Basel, Switzerland for three days to do a debrief and seminar with a missionary family in Southern Germany. A few things that are good to know about my time here, culturally speaking, is that I finally feel relatively comfortable in the language. I'm far from being fluent, but I'm able to hold my own in understanding and get by in speaking. I'm travelling along and I feel about as confident as I would if I were to be travelling 600 kilometers by train in the States.
This update is simply to let you all know that I realize that I haven't written a ton recently, but the reason isn't because I haven't wanted to, but simply due to a lack of time. I'm "home" again (or at least, I was), so I'll try to upload these when I get the chance. I was gone from June 12th until July 16th! Craziness! During that time we were in Siegen, Sassnitz, Stahlhofen, and we took a trip to Italy! More information about Sassnitz and Italy is coming up!
Siegen
So, it's time for an update and an analysis of Siegen. I must say, Siegen was, in my opinion, our hardest and most stretching outreach, but at the same time, I found it to be the best so far. We arrived on Monday morning and drove right into the Foot-Traffic Zone, and set up shop. The first people that were in our vicinity were a bunch of young alcoholics and a few punks. A lot of the guys we first met were very resistant to us being there, and it was obvious by their appearance as well as their words. They were wearing shirts saying things such as "Paganism against Christianity," "Nazis: Your parents are sibling," and "Women--trade them for Alcohol."
But our ministry went on. The first day was tough because none of us knew how to really approach these people. Juergen led the way, but it was hard to follow and in addition to that, not too many people were interested in drinking coffee, let alone stopping their busy lives to talk to us. We did however have some encouragement in the morning. A rather interesting fellow named Angelo, an immigrant from Italy, met us. He's a Christian and he brought us a fresh batch of bread rolls and told us that he often walks around, just praying for the city.
But all in all, we went back to the YMCA where we were staying pretty dejected and really kind of bummed out about how we were supposed to make this ministry work for the next few days.
Tuesday was a better day, and we started making progress, slowly but surely. I kind of swallowed a lot of my fears and just started approaching people. I'm a little nervous to approach people and start a conversation alone because my German isn't tip-top and it's possible that my vocabulary might be relatively useless with certain people or if they talk outside my sphere of understanding. Regardless, I saw a younger lady and she was eating some kind of breakfast and kept glancing back at the bus. It looked like she was interested in some free coffee, so I asked her if she wanted something. She looked a little embarrassed, probably because I noticed that she looked like she wanted coffee, but regardless, she accepted the offer and when I brought it she asked me what was going on with the bus and who we were. I started by just telling her what we are and what our goal was, she seemed interested and told me how she was raised up Jehovah's Witness, but then left that when she was 16, but recently how she's returned to the Bible and how it's been a big source of change in her life. It wasn't a very long conversation, but it was an encouragement to know that not everyone we met was opposed to us being there.
The rest of the day moved along, we had a group of Turkish guys that would come by often to play Foosball. Later in the afternoon, however, Christian and I sat down to talk to an older man. The man was polite, but he was also very bitter against the church. He went on to tell us what he though was the problems with the church and how he believe in Humanism and that the only thing we can do as people is to be good to other people. It was an interesting conversation, but also an eyeopener to the state of Christianity from the perspective of a man from the older generation.
Later that night we went back to the YMCA/Church where we were staying and a lot of the board members/influential people were holding a prayer meeting to hear about what we were doing and to pray for us. We went around sharing prayer requests, and I felt God speaking to me so I said something: I told them that we were there because the people won't come into the church by themselves. I told them that, like us, if they don't go out, people won’t come in. I told them that we were only here for a few days and that they need to pick up the slack when we left and continue to go out into the streets. I told them how it's not just the young people, but also the older people (like the man we spoke with). I said that they we're too young or too old, that they too needed to go out and share Jesus with these people. I also said that if I was here doing this, in a language not my own, then they had no excuse not to do it and to say that they aren't eloquent or good with words isn't an excuse.
I saw down with my heart pumping. I just told a bunch of middle aged and older Germans to put a little effort to their words, and to be honest, it was pretty straightforward--not harsh, but it was honest.
That was the effective end of our second day in Siegen.
The third day was the day that things really began to pick up. Things went as normal for most of the day, but later in the day, I saw a lady there that I saw on the very first day. She was a Muslim lady, with two children. She was with a friend this time, but recognizing her, and vice versa, I said hello. Later on, some other friends of her friends came by, a middle aged lady and a young lady. Christian told me that he wanted to talk to them, so he simply went over and asked to join them. I also wanted to join them, so later I came by and asked to sit. We ended up sitting and talking to the younger lady--she was 21. She was very friendly and asked us a lot of questions about our ministry and what we were doing in Siegen.
We ended up talking about religion, Islam and Christianity and she was interested in what we were saying, but she was mostly interested in pointed out why she, as a Muslim, is more tolerant than we are. The real kicker came when she asked us, "So where do you (Christians) think that I, as a Muslim, will go--heaven or hell?"
What a tough question to be asked point blank. But we couldn't lie, so we told her what we believed, that in fact, the Bible and Jesus say that apart from Him, no one reaches God. She told us then how, as a Muslim, they believe that Christians and Jews can also reach heaven. It was a really stretching conversation and it really stretched me and it was hard to talk to someone who is so convinced that all there is to life is good works to please God…a God that one can never know whether or not he's happy. She told us that we can never know if we will please God or if he'll let us into heaven--we'll only know once we die. I find that such a stretch--how are we supposed to trust in a God like that? How are we supposed to trust the creation (people) of a God like that when God himself is so indecisive and we can't know him personally?
That conversation really stretched me and got me asking a lot of questions and really pushed me out of my comfort zone. That was the first day that really kicked me in the pants.
But the next day, Thursday, was even more of a beast. The whole day passed quite quickly, nothing especially was happening and it was a rather "chill" day. We had had good conversations, but nothing that was extremely stressful or challenging.
Around four or so in the afternoon, Juergen gave me a cappuccino to give to a man who was wearing a white T-shirt and was sitting alone. I brought it over to him and I felt awkward not to at least try to say something or to start a conversation, so I asked him a few awkward questions, like "Was he off of work?", "Did he live nearby?" Just whatever I could think of.
He responded back to me and told me that he was a chef in the local area. He kept talking, and I asked him if I could sit down, and for the next two hours we had an intense conversation. He told me how two months earlier, his wife and little girl had died in a tragic car accident. I sat there completely astounded as this man told me his story. I was completely crushed as he kept talking about his love for his wife and his daughter. He told me that his daughter was his world and that his wife was his one true love. He explained it as if his heart was completely ripped out of him. He told me how going home to his apartment was simple "emptiness." How he used to go home and his daughter would run into his arms, yelling his name, and all his problems would fall away and they would be together as a family--and now, all of it is taken away and he's left with nothing. He told me that he turned to drinking right after that and drank heavily after it happened because he had nothing else to turn to. He told me how his father abused him as a child, and that his parents divorced, and his father, because of the abuse, lost custody and he and his brother had to go something similar to an orphanage. He told me of the hate that he experienced from his father and that he went back to his father after he was 18 and found his home, knocked, and simply asked "Why?". His father just responded with, "Who are you?". After that, he said he left and found his mother and his family.
This story absolutely routed me. I sat there, with this man, in his mid-thirties crying right in front of me. He told me that he simply asked God, "Why?" Why would God take his whole world and destroy it? Ruining all that he had and leaving him empty? Those were questions that I had no answer for. I simply sat there and listened. He asked me how I knew that God was there or why I believe in God, and for the first time I felt simply useless--what was I supposed to say? God has really shown up in my life and blessed me, and I've personally experienced him? Of course that is true and I believe it, but in this moment, my experiences with God mean less than nothing to him in his pain.
I simply sat there, listening, praying--it ended up that he had a lot of questions about our ministry and what we were doing. He told me that our conversation and him sitting there at our outdoor café was the first time in a month that he had been outside with people and the first time that he had shared his story with someone. By the end of our two hours, you could see the change in his face and his mood as he let a lot of this go--or at least got it off of his chest. It was absolutely draining on me to have him say all these things--but it was a really good conclusion to our conversation. I got his address and gave it to the local church, telling them to get into contact with this man, because he, more than ever before, needs community to surround him and to build him up.
It was this conversation in Siegen that really got me thinking about the church. Here we were as a ministry--we are there for five days and then gone. Where is the church in all this? Thankfully we found a solid group of Christians in Siegen but my question is still, what is the church doing? Where is the church in these German cities? I've been in a lot of cities now up until the point of my writing this, and I have only seen one or maybe two churches that are really doing something, getting involved and are getting their hands dirty. All I know is that I'm now excited to go home and to get involved with my church, getting my hands dirty and doing the work necessary to bring people into the church. It's not easy, but it's necessary.
But our ministry went on. The first day was tough because none of us knew how to really approach these people. Juergen led the way, but it was hard to follow and in addition to that, not too many people were interested in drinking coffee, let alone stopping their busy lives to talk to us. We did however have some encouragement in the morning. A rather interesting fellow named Angelo, an immigrant from Italy, met us. He's a Christian and he brought us a fresh batch of bread rolls and told us that he often walks around, just praying for the city.
But all in all, we went back to the YMCA where we were staying pretty dejected and really kind of bummed out about how we were supposed to make this ministry work for the next few days.
Tuesday was a better day, and we started making progress, slowly but surely. I kind of swallowed a lot of my fears and just started approaching people. I'm a little nervous to approach people and start a conversation alone because my German isn't tip-top and it's possible that my vocabulary might be relatively useless with certain people or if they talk outside my sphere of understanding. Regardless, I saw a younger lady and she was eating some kind of breakfast and kept glancing back at the bus. It looked like she was interested in some free coffee, so I asked her if she wanted something. She looked a little embarrassed, probably because I noticed that she looked like she wanted coffee, but regardless, she accepted the offer and when I brought it she asked me what was going on with the bus and who we were. I started by just telling her what we are and what our goal was, she seemed interested and told me how she was raised up Jehovah's Witness, but then left that when she was 16, but recently how she's returned to the Bible and how it's been a big source of change in her life. It wasn't a very long conversation, but it was an encouragement to know that not everyone we met was opposed to us being there.
The rest of the day moved along, we had a group of Turkish guys that would come by often to play Foosball. Later in the afternoon, however, Christian and I sat down to talk to an older man. The man was polite, but he was also very bitter against the church. He went on to tell us what he though was the problems with the church and how he believe in Humanism and that the only thing we can do as people is to be good to other people. It was an interesting conversation, but also an eyeopener to the state of Christianity from the perspective of a man from the older generation.
Later that night we went back to the YMCA/Church where we were staying and a lot of the board members/influential people were holding a prayer meeting to hear about what we were doing and to pray for us. We went around sharing prayer requests, and I felt God speaking to me so I said something: I told them that we were there because the people won't come into the church by themselves. I told them that, like us, if they don't go out, people won’t come in. I told them that we were only here for a few days and that they need to pick up the slack when we left and continue to go out into the streets. I told them how it's not just the young people, but also the older people (like the man we spoke with). I said that they we're too young or too old, that they too needed to go out and share Jesus with these people. I also said that if I was here doing this, in a language not my own, then they had no excuse not to do it and to say that they aren't eloquent or good with words isn't an excuse.
I saw down with my heart pumping. I just told a bunch of middle aged and older Germans to put a little effort to their words, and to be honest, it was pretty straightforward--not harsh, but it was honest.
That was the effective end of our second day in Siegen.
The third day was the day that things really began to pick up. Things went as normal for most of the day, but later in the day, I saw a lady there that I saw on the very first day. She was a Muslim lady, with two children. She was with a friend this time, but recognizing her, and vice versa, I said hello. Later on, some other friends of her friends came by, a middle aged lady and a young lady. Christian told me that he wanted to talk to them, so he simply went over and asked to join them. I also wanted to join them, so later I came by and asked to sit. We ended up sitting and talking to the younger lady--she was 21. She was very friendly and asked us a lot of questions about our ministry and what we were doing in Siegen.
We ended up talking about religion, Islam and Christianity and she was interested in what we were saying, but she was mostly interested in pointed out why she, as a Muslim, is more tolerant than we are. The real kicker came when she asked us, "So where do you (Christians) think that I, as a Muslim, will go--heaven or hell?"
What a tough question to be asked point blank. But we couldn't lie, so we told her what we believed, that in fact, the Bible and Jesus say that apart from Him, no one reaches God. She told us then how, as a Muslim, they believe that Christians and Jews can also reach heaven. It was a really stretching conversation and it really stretched me and it was hard to talk to someone who is so convinced that all there is to life is good works to please God…a God that one can never know whether or not he's happy. She told us that we can never know if we will please God or if he'll let us into heaven--we'll only know once we die. I find that such a stretch--how are we supposed to trust in a God like that? How are we supposed to trust the creation (people) of a God like that when God himself is so indecisive and we can't know him personally?
That conversation really stretched me and got me asking a lot of questions and really pushed me out of my comfort zone. That was the first day that really kicked me in the pants.
But the next day, Thursday, was even more of a beast. The whole day passed quite quickly, nothing especially was happening and it was a rather "chill" day. We had had good conversations, but nothing that was extremely stressful or challenging.
Around four or so in the afternoon, Juergen gave me a cappuccino to give to a man who was wearing a white T-shirt and was sitting alone. I brought it over to him and I felt awkward not to at least try to say something or to start a conversation, so I asked him a few awkward questions, like "Was he off of work?", "Did he live nearby?" Just whatever I could think of.
He responded back to me and told me that he was a chef in the local area. He kept talking, and I asked him if I could sit down, and for the next two hours we had an intense conversation. He told me how two months earlier, his wife and little girl had died in a tragic car accident. I sat there completely astounded as this man told me his story. I was completely crushed as he kept talking about his love for his wife and his daughter. He told me that his daughter was his world and that his wife was his one true love. He explained it as if his heart was completely ripped out of him. He told me how going home to his apartment was simple "emptiness." How he used to go home and his daughter would run into his arms, yelling his name, and all his problems would fall away and they would be together as a family--and now, all of it is taken away and he's left with nothing. He told me that he turned to drinking right after that and drank heavily after it happened because he had nothing else to turn to. He told me how his father abused him as a child, and that his parents divorced, and his father, because of the abuse, lost custody and he and his brother had to go something similar to an orphanage. He told me of the hate that he experienced from his father and that he went back to his father after he was 18 and found his home, knocked, and simply asked "Why?". His father just responded with, "Who are you?". After that, he said he left and found his mother and his family.
This story absolutely routed me. I sat there, with this man, in his mid-thirties crying right in front of me. He told me that he simply asked God, "Why?" Why would God take his whole world and destroy it? Ruining all that he had and leaving him empty? Those were questions that I had no answer for. I simply sat there and listened. He asked me how I knew that God was there or why I believe in God, and for the first time I felt simply useless--what was I supposed to say? God has really shown up in my life and blessed me, and I've personally experienced him? Of course that is true and I believe it, but in this moment, my experiences with God mean less than nothing to him in his pain.
I simply sat there, listening, praying--it ended up that he had a lot of questions about our ministry and what we were doing. He told me that our conversation and him sitting there at our outdoor café was the first time in a month that he had been outside with people and the first time that he had shared his story with someone. By the end of our two hours, you could see the change in his face and his mood as he let a lot of this go--or at least got it off of his chest. It was absolutely draining on me to have him say all these things--but it was a really good conclusion to our conversation. I got his address and gave it to the local church, telling them to get into contact with this man, because he, more than ever before, needs community to surround him and to build him up.
It was this conversation in Siegen that really got me thinking about the church. Here we were as a ministry--we are there for five days and then gone. Where is the church in all this? Thankfully we found a solid group of Christians in Siegen but my question is still, what is the church doing? Where is the church in these German cities? I've been in a lot of cities now up until the point of my writing this, and I have only seen one or maybe two churches that are really doing something, getting involved and are getting their hands dirty. All I know is that I'm now excited to go home and to get involved with my church, getting my hands dirty and doing the work necessary to bring people into the church. It's not easy, but it's necessary.
June 27, 2010
Hinterlands
You've probably heard of the Hinterlands and people talking about going "back into the hinterlands" or at least, "going into the backcountry." Well, now I can say that I've officially been to the real hinterlands. Johannes and his family invited us out to their home for a birthday celebration for him and his older brother. It was his 19th birthday, so we all took the trip out to his house. He lives in what is known as the Hinterland here in Germany and it means, literally "Backcountry." After afternoon coffee and cake, he took us up one of the small mountains/large hills, and we climbed to the top of it. There was a lookout tower at the top of the mountain/hill, and in it was a really awesome view of the whole region. One could see for miles and miles in every direction. It's quite interesting--here in Germany, there are many little dorfs and they are all separated by mostly natural boundaries--rivers, forests, hills, mountains. They are all relatively small, from perhaps one or two hundred up until about three or four thousand, but they are all separate. The distance between a lot of them is often a kilometer or two (.6 - 1.2 miles), but unlike most towns in the 'burbs back in the States, the boundaries of the dorfs are very distinct. They simply just stop. They don't stretch out for a while, they are just there.
Anyways, It was cool to be at Johannes' house and to meet his family and see his town. His town is very quaint and traditional Germany, which gives it character. I find it interesting as well to meet people's families here in Germany and friends--it's an odd interaction for me to meet people who mostly speak only German and to talk to people in German and simply have that just be normal. Of course, my German is a total piece of work, but it's coming along, piece by piece, I guess.
Anyways, It was cool to be at Johannes' house and to meet his family and see his town. His town is very quaint and traditional Germany, which gives it character. I find it interesting as well to meet people's families here in Germany and friends--it's an odd interaction for me to meet people who mostly speak only German and to talk to people in German and simply have that just be normal. Of course, my German is a total piece of work, but it's coming along, piece by piece, I guess.
June 24, 2010
Kanu!
Canoeing! We made an adventure trip on Wednesday the 23rd--we took a canoe trip! Hanne, Simon, Olly, Edith, and Dominik all came down from Muehtal and they organized a excursion day for all of us. We drove about 45min away and reached the boating dock and from there we headed out! It was rather fun; we had a four person canoe with Christian, myself, Simeon, and Johannes. Our route was 17,4 kilometers long, and it took about eight hours or so to do (including a lunch break for grilling), but it was good nonetheless. It was odd to canoe on the river and then see a castle or a cathedral every so often. Another really interesting thing is that the river was operated and maintained by floodgates, so there were four floodgates (canals) that we had to operate and allow to be filled and then drained. I haven't seen anything like those before, at least, not on a normal river for boats such as canoes.
The same day also happened to be Juergen's birthday, so we went to his house afterward and celebrated, grilled, and watched the German game against Ghana.
The night before that, Manu (the only other worker in Stahlhofen) invited us to her home for a game night and dinner. Manu's husband, Danny, is Canadian, and they're moving to Sweden in August to work/live at Holsby Brunn, a Torchbearers university there. It was a really cool time at Manu's. We ate together, and her husband is a big Disc Golfer, so he has his own discs but also his own "hole" contraption. We set it up in the park next to their house and played a round of ten with everyone and it was fun. My team had never played before so it was a brand new experience--and I also realized that I should probably get my skills in shape for the fall.
After Disc Golfing, we went inside and played board games for a bit. One thing I found really interesting is that for most of the time, we all communicated in Germany, including Danny and I. It was a bit odd, but interesting to speak in German to another native English speaker. I think it to be ironic, but it wasn't bad or wrong, just interesting. All these situations and things I’m learning concerning language really interest me. I kind of wish I could have studied language more than I have because I find it fascinating the way language grows and changes, but even more so how language is learned. To me, that stuff is really interesting.
The same day also happened to be Juergen's birthday, so we went to his house afterward and celebrated, grilled, and watched the German game against Ghana.
The night before that, Manu (the only other worker in Stahlhofen) invited us to her home for a game night and dinner. Manu's husband, Danny, is Canadian, and they're moving to Sweden in August to work/live at Holsby Brunn, a Torchbearers university there. It was a really cool time at Manu's. We ate together, and her husband is a big Disc Golfer, so he has his own discs but also his own "hole" contraption. We set it up in the park next to their house and played a round of ten with everyone and it was fun. My team had never played before so it was a brand new experience--and I also realized that I should probably get my skills in shape for the fall.
After Disc Golfing, we went inside and played board games for a bit. One thing I found really interesting is that for most of the time, we all communicated in Germany, including Danny and I. It was a bit odd, but interesting to speak in German to another native English speaker. I think it to be ironic, but it wasn't bad or wrong, just interesting. All these situations and things I’m learning concerning language really interest me. I kind of wish I could have studied language more than I have because I find it fascinating the way language grows and changes, but even more so how language is learned. To me, that stuff is really interesting.
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